i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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