It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
As shirtless as possible
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
