She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
