Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
this hospital has no fireball
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
