how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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