It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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