I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
