i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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