Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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