When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
