You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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