And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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