Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
