Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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