if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
