ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
