Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
