Nicole vs. Life
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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