Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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