Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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