i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
