I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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