i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
