does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dick very happy bro
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
