i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
