It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
