I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
