Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
