I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
