I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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