i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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