sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
