he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
