woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
