Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
