if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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