so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
