Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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