at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
