No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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