Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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