I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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