Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
