my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
