3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
