Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
