Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
