We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
