Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
