i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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