Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
