in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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